How’s it gonna be? :: Had you told me years ago that I would live some 16 years of my life in Seattle, Washington I wouldn’t have believed you. For most of my formative years I hardly knew where Seattle was on a map! But alas, my 18 year old self made the decision to move here and I’m still in this city – 16 years and counting. Had you told me years ago that I would spend five of those Seattle years working at a Fortune 500 company,  then quit without any next step lined up and on somewhat of whim go to Portugal for several months, I wouldn’t have believed you. Ahhh, but I have lived those things now. Somehow they came to be and they were so good. And, had you told me years ago that my most Seattle-est of friends would get married in Manhattan, I also wouldn’t have believed you. It just didn’t seem like the way it would or could or should be, but now I have just returned from her wedding in New York City. All the time, things are turning out beautifully in ways I couldn’t have predicted.

In the aftermath of quitting said corporate job and traveling and now being back in Seattle and needing an income I have decisions to make. I should say, I am one lucky girl to have multiple good options to choose from. It shouldn’t be a hard decision – I have three great offers. Some would say, any choice I make is a really good one and if the life we were discussing wasn’t my own I’d agree. But ya see, somewhere in life I developed this belief that decisions of this caliber are heavy, complicated and determine how the rest of life unfolds. For me, big decisions have always come with so much pressure and I’ve never really questioned that perhaps that pressure is unnecessary.

Until now.

What if I can’t really “mess things up”?

What if there are a lot of good, right answers for every big decision we make?

What if no matter what I choose, everything is going to be okay?

In making decisions, I often wish that I could see the future –  that somehow if I knew how things were going to be I would know exactly the right strategic choice to make. Maybe life wouldn’t be life if we knew how things were going to turn out? Maybe it would lose its magic and a little bit of its wonder? Also, I guess I’ve never known how things were going to be and so far I’ve done just fine making big decisions even if I’ve had a tendency to make the process of making them quite torturous.

I’m also one, when comes down to it, who makes decisions with my gut or more accurately MY HEART – which freaks me out because it’s not really a very scientific or guaranteed process. But then again, I suppose nothing is guaranteed.

So here’s what I’ve decided my friends: When it comes to decisions my heart is just a lot smarter than my brain. And since so far I’ve done alright by my decisions I think I’m just going to keep listening to my heart and maybe get rid of all that pressure that has for so long come with every decision I’ve ever made.